“How to Spend Your One Day in Memphis” by GoGoPance
11:00AM: Sip a Bloody Mary in the ornately appointed Peabody Hotel lobby while watching the famous ducks parade down the red carpet and into the fountain for their day’s swim. If possible, score a bird’s eye view from the second floor. *NOTE* Ducks move extra fast when headed for water – pictures may end up blurry.
12:30PM: Stroll along Beale Street while discussing its likeness – in a sad, this-used-to-be-old-and-cool-but-now-is-overly-touristy-and-tacky – to New Orleans’ Bourbon Street. Grab a snack of seafood gumbo and pose for a picture “ten feet off of Beale,” simply because it’s a line in a song by Marc Cohn.
1:00PM: Drive by the Lorraine Motel/Civil Rights Museum to see where Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated.
2:30PM: Visit Sun Studios, the modest recording studio responsible for turning the voices of Elvis and Johnny Cash into wide-release vinyl. Sing into the very same microphone used by members of the Million Dollar Quartet during their famous impromptu jam session in 1956. Get applause from fellow tour patrons for your “performance.”
3:30PM: Drive down to the Mississippi riverfront and over the bridge onto Mud Island – Memphis’ super quaint, meticulously developed version of Celebration, Florida. Drive by all the Open Houses, use iPhones to look up asking prices, have real estate envy.
4:00PM: Pull over and ask The Google where Justin Timberlake’s childhood home is. Find out it’s at least 30 minutes north of downtown and therefore sadly out of the way.
4:30PM: Drive by Graceland and take a picture, just to say you saw it.
5:00PM: Drive into Mississippi, turn around and come back, just to check it off your “States I’ve Been To” list.
6:00PM: After mindlessly musing to your companions how eating at restaurants whose logo is a cartoon version of the food it serves is disturbing… enjoy some Memphis BBQ!! (further shame yourself by ordering a pulled chicken sandwich instead of pork).