“How to Spend Your One Day in Austin” by GoGoPance
9:30AM: Grab a coffee at Jo’s across the street from your accommodations while figuring out what restaurants are actually open for breakfast at that hour and not still closed and hungover. Coffee, I love you so much.
10:00AM: Settle on Magnolia Cafe on South Congress Street. Order some some tasty gingerbread pancakes then walk by all the kitchsy junk stores that are still closed and, well, probably still hungover.
11:30AM: Walk around the University of Texas campus. Act like locals. Hook ’em horns.
1:00PM: Relax in the outdoor seating at Spider House Cafe. Order an ice tea or a cafe con leche because you can’t really decide if you’re hot or cold, then let the early March sun coat your bare skin for the first time in months. God bless 70 degree temperatures.
2:00PM: Swing by Polka Dots Cupcakes simply because of the name and walk out with a pumpkin cupcake with cream cheese frosting.
3:00PM: Drive 30 minutes up to Lake Travis just to see it. Feel saddened by the shockingly low water level.
4:00PM: Go by the hamburger joint hang-out spot as seen in the movie “Dazed and Confused.” You don’t have to make this stop, but you’d be a lot cooler if you did.
5:00PM: Return to all the kitchsy junk stores on South Congress Street that are now actually open. Feel saddened by the shockingly high price tags.
6:00PM: Regroup during “Happy Time” (aka “Happy Hour”) at Snack Bar, the bar closest to your hotel. Order a local Austin Amber or a house vino. Commence being happy.
8:00PM: Dine at a restaurant with “Moonshine” in the title. Snicker to yourself while thinking, “These people know nothing about moonshine.”
10:00PM: Opt for a nightcap at Clive Bar. Learn from your super-dork barstool neighbor what Mezcal is all about. Be appalled that someone *can* turn tequila into something to be dork about. Pretend to be interested long enough to score a taste (or two) of his.
11:00PM: Call a cab to take you back to your accommodations. Hear strange knocking/banging sounds coming from the back. Wonder if it’s just the wind or if he has dead bodies in the trunk…
12:00PM: Upon arrival at your motel you notice for the first time how it looks like a… *ahem*. Reward yourself for not dying at the hands of the cab driver by enjoying [devouring] your Polka Dots pumpkin cupcake.