vaya con pance

You Know You’re a Redneck If… December 13, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — gogopance @ 3:39 pm

…your method of Christmas tree acquisition includes a pick-up truck, sneaking onto private property and a shotgun. Backing up a little, before any assumptions are made, Gemini got a tree the old-fashioned way. We followed signs to a tree farm, picked out a respectable specimen and had it lovingly chainsawed down for us; afterward enjoying hot chocolate and seasonal cookies with the farm owner-operators. Et viola, merriment.

But last Saturday I was witness to a crime of unfathomable proportions, hunting for and shooting down not one – but two – trees. After a hearty breakfast of steak and eggs, bestgoodfriends Jon, Cathy and I drove in Jon’s pick-up out onto 70ish acres of private property (yeah, OK, we went to high school with the guy) near Radford in search of two living room worthy trees. They were found and promptly killed. (Which actually only gives additional ammo (pun?) to my Christmas Tree Bodies analogy from my past city life.)

Good times had by all, really. Just when I thought my days of exciting adventures might be slowing down to visiting Waffle House past midnight or 20-cents-off gas day, I get invited to shoot down a Christmas tree. Take that, big city. And next year we plan to use the Uzi. Uuuuz jealous now?!


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